


Over and Out

by brittyelaine



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Dean Winchester Loves Castiel, Episode Related, Episode: s13e01 Lost and Found, Grieving Dean, M/M, s13e01 coda
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-17
Updated: 2017-10-17
Packaged: 2019-01-18 16:12:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12391587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brittyelaine/pseuds/brittyelaine
Summary: “Till then, Cas… I’ll let it go. I’ll leave it for someday when I see those blue eyes of yours. When I hear your voice.” He huffs a laugh — sad and humorless. “You’ll say ‘Hello, Dean,’ and all I’ll say is ‘I love you, Cas.’”





	Over and Out

**Author's Note:**

> From the Tumblr prompt: Send me a song, and I'll write you a Drabble! [["Over and Out" by Westlife](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yrLMqjUAKtw)]
> 
> Come hang out with me on [Tumblr!](http://brittywritesstuff.tumblr.com)

It’s quiet. Too quiet, Dean thinks. But at the same time, it’s deafeningly loud. In the silence, Dean’s mind is free to play the worst moments of his life over and over again, like a record stuck on a loop.

Sleep is no use these days. When he closes his eyes, all he sees is Cas. All he sees is the angel blade piercing Cas’s heart. He sees Cas’s body on that table — his face serene, that ever-present crease between his eyes gone. Dean couldn’t bear to see his face like that. He never wanted to see him like that.

When he closes his eyes, he sees the wings. He’s seen Cas die before. Over and over. But never had he seen the wing print. That has always given him hope. _Cas isn’t dead, he’s just gone. He’ll be back._

Seeing those wings scorched into the earth… it was like getting hit in the gut with a sledge hammer, and over and over again, he can’t breath.

“Cas,” Dean whispers, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed. He leans forward, his elbows on his knees. One hand closes around his fist, and he pulls them to his lips. Closing his eyes, the ever-present tears make good on their promise to spill over, and he takes a shuddering breath.

All Dean does anymore, it seems, is pray. He prays to anyone who might hear him. He prays to Cas, though he knows it’ll do no good. “Cas, can you hear me?” He draws another breath and licks his lips.

“I'm…” Pausing, he clears his throat. “I’m saying I’m sorry. I… I… I’m sorry I couldn’t save you. I’m sorry I never… There’s so much that I want you to know, Cas. I— I never told you. I never said it back, but, damn it, Cas, I love—“ He chokes back a sob, and scrubs a hand over his face.

When he lifts his head, he breaths in deep. “I’m counting on someday, man. Someday… You’ll wake up and see me. And I’ll tell you then. I’ll tell you, I promise.

“Till then, Cas… I’ll let it go. I’ll leave it for someday when I see those blue eyes of yours. When I hear your voice.” He huffs a laugh — sad and humorless. “You’ll say ‘Hello, Dean,’ and all I’ll say is ‘I love you, Cas.’”

He wipes away his tears and exhales slowly as he nods. “Okay, Cas? Till then… Over and out.”


End file.
